frequently asked questions
Why bad pet portraits?
It's a good excuse for me to look at pictures of your pets.
Okay, but why are they BAD?
The portraits are bad simply because it is a good time to draw them this way. I only ever meet or exceed the expectations of my customers what a loophole.
What is the difference between a physical portrait and a digital portrait?
Physical portraits are hand painted with watercolour IN THE FLESH. You will receive them via post.
Digital portraits are hand drawn on my mum's ipad and will be delivered to you via email.
Do you ship to *insert international location here*?
Yes!! International shipping is available $8 AUD.
Can I order a bad pet portrait of a person?
Yes! I do people and family portraits. Just place your order as if the people were pets (no offense). Also important disclaimer: if you make me draw your baby it will look like buddha I don't make the rules.
Can I order more than one portrait?
Yes! Complete the order form for each portrait and add them to cart one at a time. You can then proceed to checkout.
Can I order a physical AND a digital portrait in the same order?
Yes! Add both to cart separately (one at a time) and complete your checkout
Can I get a bad pet portrait of my reptile/ amphibian/ fish/ exotic creature/ farm animal?
Yes! I will do anything (within reason) for money.
Can you do a portrait of my two pets together if I only have photos of them separately?
Yes. I am like living breathing photoshop. My skill knows no bounds.
I am trying to place an order and it says "order not valid". What do I do?
Unfortuately that means we have sold out for the week. Try again next week and don't be so slow this time. geez. Store restocks every Sunday at 6pm AEST (no DST).
When will my physical pet portrait arrive?
Please allow 2 weeks for me to complete your portrait and then it is in the loving hands of Australia Post.
Important shipping notice:
I use standard UNTRACKED letter post (it's called bad pet portraiture not speedy delivery pet portraiture). This means it can take 16+ business days for portraits to arrive internationally (or about a week if you're in Australia). If you need it sooner / would like tracking you gotta fork out for express shipping.
When will my digital pet portrait arrive?
Gimmie 1-2 weeks to complete your portrait and then check your emails.
If you haven't received your portrait in this timeframe, check your spam folder you filthy animal (and then just chuck me an email at badpetportraiture@icloud.com and I'l resend it)
My beloved corgi has dog leukemia. Can I get a free portrait?
No. My therapist says I need to stop engaging in people pleasing behaviour. Bummer about the dog leukemia though.
I saw online that you were advertising bad pet portraits for $10 and now I'm grumpy because they cost more than that online. You're a lying liar and I don't like you.
Easy tiger, I offer $10 pet portraits at my pop up stalls around Brisbane. They are a special offer to say thank you for making the effort to see me in the flesh! Keep an eye on my instagram to see where I'll be next.
Note: I will NOT honour this pricing if you track me down in the flesh non-consentually. Stalking is not cool and will not be rewarded.
Did your prices go up in 2025?
How dare you accuse me of this! I didn't raise prices I just changed the currency to USD *cue fergie's version of star spangled banner*
I will now draw your pet starting at $15 USD (or $20 AUD) x
I will always offer $10 portraits at all of my live events in Brisbane (keep an eye on the 'gram for where I am next). It is super important to me that pet portraits remain accessible so trust me when I say I'm keeping the prices as low as I possibly can xoxoxox
My portrait arrived and it's really bad! I am not happy!
Sorry babe that’s exactly what you signed up for. No take backsies!
My portrait arrived and it's too good! I thought they were meant to be bad!
I am sorry to hear this. I will happily draw your pet worse and ship it slower.